This special appeared in the ‘Life Issue’

FEELINGS

English National Ballet Principal Natascha Mair
shares her feelings before going on stage.
A transition from dark into the light.

Photography by Paul Daniel Schneider.

As the curtain's rise approaches, approximately five minutes before, I begin taking deep breaths, purging any negative energies from my arms and legs.
I offer myself kind words, reassuring myself that this fear will fade within moments.
This knowledge is drawn from my past experiences, instilling a deep sense of trust in my body.

The curtain rises, my heart races, and a wave of stress washes over me. I feel tense and on edge. But within a few seconds, it all dissipates. I become attuned to the stage lights and the energy of the audience. My focus sharpens on my movements, my control, my character, and my emotions. Confidence gradually replaces insecurity.
For the moments I am on stage, all doubts vanish

On the day of a performance, I often find myself in a state of anticipation and uncertainty.

As I meticulously prepare my routines, the act of applying makeup becomes a form of meditation, helping to calm my nerves and ease me into the performance mindset.
Approximately 10 minutes before taking the stage, my heart rate quickens, and the surreal nature of the moment sets in.

I grapple with a mix of nervousness and the fear of failure, my mind racing through various scenarios of what could potentially go wrong.

Despite the feelings, I strive to maintain focus while also ensuring that I remain composed.

An overwhelming sense of joy envelops me.
The emotions demanded by the character I portray completely consume me, leaving no room for distractions or negative thoughts. I am liberated. Every challenge becomes an opportunity to excel, with no room for excuses.

I feel alive, unique, and brimming with light, joy, and energy. There's no more exquisite sensation than harnessing this adrenaline rush to transform into a persona that exists only in those precious moments on stage.

The full story appeared in our print ‘Life Issue’ magazine.